BDSM Safety: How to ensure safety in BDSM?

BDSM Safety: How to ensure safety in BDSM?

You've been planning this night for a long time. You and your brave partner have debated, bargained, and eventually agreed to try BDSM. You've gone into your fantasies, read some books, and selected a few toys. 

You're now standing in front of each other, and the game is ready to start. And there's just one thought racing through your mind.

If you want to experience BDSM but want to do it responsibly, here's a brief list of the essentials to remember while you experiment and play in your new paradise:

 

You may do these works before playing:

  • Negotiation
  • Many people, including myself, have published articles on scene negotiations, and your first scene is no different. You and your partner should sit down and talk about what gets you angry or happy and all the extras that come with it.

  • Safewords and consent
  • This is an essential aspect of negotiating that must be mentioned separately. Know what you and your partner agree to and don't agree to, and make a safeword agreement ahead of time. This might be as simple as "no" or as complicated as a secret phrase, but it should be straightforward. Create a wordless safeword if your play contains any humor – a ball in the bottom character's hand that may be dropped to terminate the action or "oh uh" are two options. The stoplight code may be used to alter the speed of play (red, yellow, and green). There's also the circuit technique, in which the bottom is only punished if their hands complete a circuit by clutching two designated objects, such as bedposts or rope ends. Play is interrupted once they let go. This gives the scene some breathing space without necessarily terminating it.

  • Aftercare
  • Make sure your play and aftercare areas are ready, so you don't have to rush for anything at a crucial period. Negotiate what kind of aftercare could be required, and keep in mind that play and post-scene care are flexible and change based on the situation.

  • Silent alarm
  • We regularly meet new individuals via ways unrelated to our social networks in the internet and app meetups era. Make sure you have a quiet alarm set up in these situations. Set a check-in time and text a buddy with all the specifics of where you'll be going and what you'll be doing. Constantly meet up with possible play partners to get to know them before a playdate. Use this resource if you have a community that can vet them - it's not uncommon in BDSM, and it's encouraged.

    Safety Basics

    • Play sober

    For many, this rule is fluid since some individuals may feel the urge to relax with a glass of wine. On the other hand, actual drunkenness does not combine well with BDSM. Stop and think about playing another day if you or your partner are obviously or loudly inebriated or have had more than two drinks.

    • Check in constantly

    This doesn't have to be rude or awkward, but make sure you're checking in frequently. The riskier the play, the more checks you should make.

    • Maintain a skill level that is appropriate for you

    Pushing your skill levels to the extremes is only encouraged in workshops and seminars when instructors are present or while playing with someone who has played at that level before. Don't try to outsmart both (or all) of the persons involved simultaneously.

    • The importance of hydration and blood sugar

    Please keep these in mind throughout your long hot hours of play. Keep a minimum of water and maybe a snack on hand if someone becomes shaky.

    Bondage Basics

    • Never leave a bottom in bondage alone!

    This is a bondage scene's golden rule. Accidents may happen in seconds, and a person in bondage is at grave risk if this happens. Consider halting the scenario if you really must leave the room. Have a safety plan if you and your partner have bargained or agreed that this is a risk you're prepared to face. People have been caged and left for hours, and their masters have left a baby monitor with them in the dungeon. However, taking that risk while starting isn't a good idea.

    • Know your common nerve injuries 

    Sensory and motor nerve compression may be a serious problem when playing in bondage. These nerve regions are often taught in rope lessons, and there are materials available all over the internet that are more thorough than what I could explain here. The gaps between the wrist and the thumb, the rear of the upper arm, and the front of the hipbone should all be avoided. Report it and stop if you experience tingling, burning, or numbness.

    • Don’t bind the joints or neck

    The joints are where nerves and blood vessels come closer to the skin's surface. The strain on these places may damage ligaments and tendons, making a recovery exceedingly difficult. Because oxygen and blood supplies to the brain are essential to life, the neck is a more sophisticated region of play. If you're compressing anything around your neck, be sure you know what you're doing.

    • Leave a finger size of space

    Don't tie someone too tightly unless the tie or type of bondage calls for it. This makes them susceptible to nerve damage and problems with blood flow.

    Impact Basics

    • Start soft

    It's scary to start with impact, but if you use a soft toy or your hand, you'll be less likely to inflict permanent harm and more likely to obtain useful physical feedback.

    • Don’t hit the joints, neck, or face

    Impact, like rope, has the potential to cause major joint injury. A single solid hit to the neck may destroy a windpipe or trachea. The back of the neck is densely packed with the valuable cervical vertebrae, which contain many of the nerves that power our essential activities. While face slapping is a popular kind of play, smacking the face with toys is inappropriate for children and should be avoided. The eyes and the nerves around them are particularly fragile and may result in blindness and palsy.

    • Be careful about the spine and kidneys

    As many people do, I'm not entirely placing them in the "no-hit" category since I'd be amazed if anybody could harm their spine or kidneys with a traditional leather flogger. Avoid hitting these spots if you're using strong impact devices like canes or buckshot floggers. Hard toys should be used in areas with a milder impact, such as the butts and thighs.

    • Warm-up your bottom

    This is more of a play recommendation than a safety guideline. Warm up your bottom if you want your session to last and your bottom to attain the "mythical" subspace. Start low and easy and gradually increase the intensity of your workout.

    What if there’s an emergency?

    There are just two things to do in a significant emergency: remove whatever caused the accident and contact 911. If you believe someone has a spinal injury, do not move them or allow them to move. Ascertain that they remain still until assistance arrives.

    Unfortunately, many individuals may hesitate to seek professional assistance during BDSM-related problems due to the dangers of being discovered in a kinky situation.

    It's unforgivable to prioritize the social consequences of being discovered doing anything kinky above the health of a play partner in a severe emergency. If you believe you won't be able to accept that risk, I strongly advise you not to attempt hard at BDSM.

    Minor emergencies

    If a playmate is prone to fainting, make sure they're in a location where a fall won't hurt them. If they pass out while playing, check for injuries and ensure they're okay and in a safe area to rest, drink, and eat. Call 911 if they seem disoriented or unable to converse properly, vomit, or appear pale and have moist skin.

    If bleeding develops, use a clean towel to apply pressure. Call 911 if the bleeding is uncontrollable through the cloth or does not cease after 20 minutes of mild bleeding.

    If psychological crises or triggers are a possibility, make sure you have a hotline number and the phone numbers of the person's closest and most trusted friends on hand in case things get out of hand. This should not happen in lighter, entry-level play if good negotiation is done ahead of time, but it's never a bad idea to be prepared.



    It's always better to be prepared for the worst-case situation and never have to use it than the other way around in the event of BDSM. This short article scratches the surface of scene safety precautions, but I hope it piques the interest of those who want to learn more.

    Although this portrays a strict set of events, the actuality of the play is much more exciting. Being prepared is a sign of a good playmate, and it allows us to have more fun and lose ourselves in the moment. Education is essential for overcoming the dread of not knowing what to do. With everything out of the way, the real fun can begin!