Why Do We Like BDSM? 7 Psychological Reasons

Why Do We Like BDSM? 7 Psychological Reasons

Why do so many individuals become excited at the slightest thought of a power struggle, a pair of handcuffs, or a spanking? If you've never really immersed yourself in the variety of the topic, probably, you sometimes feel strange or puzzled about your own (or your friends') appetites. It may be challenging to feel misunderstood and to keep your spouse in the dark about your wants. And certainly, society still does not tolerate this sort of kink very well.

Although some people could be critical, wouldn't it be wiser to understand the "why"? Because it will be simpler to accept your preferences if you are aware of the psychological factors contributing to the kink. Your desires will be obvious to be completely natural and healthy.

This article looks for plausible justifications for people's dominating, submissive, sadistic, and masochistic sexual actions. What fundamental factors lead to these sexual behaviors in us? BDSM entails physical hurt and pain, which people often stay far away from in everyday life.

1. Evolutional Background

The basic fact is that people have always wanted to have a large family to ensure their genetic survival on Earth. Biologically speaking, this is essentially the reason we are here. Sorry, everyone.

So it seems to sense that BDSM appetites are also related to reproduction. The following is the scientific justification.

The research found that having children between a lower-ranking human and a higher-ranking human may result in more children.

Surprisingly, if there is a hierarchy between the spouses, sexual arousal also rises. Studies show that this is merely an extremely effective reproduction technique and not a desire for feelings or an artistic form of expression.

Fortunately, there are many other possible explanations for the need.

2. Important firsthand experiences

The first time we experience sexuality profoundly shapes who we become. Early encounters with porn, self-touching, or experimenting on another person may significantly impact our later tastes.

If you discover anything fascinating throughout puberty, it's likely to keep you hot.

If an item was enjoyable or significant to the first time we had sex, we may link it with sex and continue to use it in sexual activity.

3. A Sex Experience Unachievable in Real Life

We often think about and seek out sex situations that aren't available to us.

People in positions of authority, CEOs, and those with many difficult choices to make in their lives may feel the need to transfer all of the stress to someone else. The world's weight might seem utterly freeing to leave behind for a little while.

Conversely, those who cannot make judgments in the workplace or even privately may be eager to take the lead in their sexual life.

4. Chemistry

Scientists speculate that "the neurologic structure of the brain's pain and reward systems" may be a biological cause of BDSM urges.

Because our brain produces the same biochemicals during pain and sex, much additional research suggests that a little discomfort may increase pleasure.

Others take it even further. They claim that experiencing pain causes them to feel "high" or "floaty." Others liken the sensation to a "runner high," the feeling experienced by runners after lengthy runs.

Endorphins attach to opiate receptors in each of us to effectively reduce pain. Endorphins are among the most often generated neurotransmitters in BDSM play since they might include power exchange and painful activities.

5. The Forbidden Fruit Effect

Anything that society views as strange, illegal, or taboo may, in general, get people on. BDSM is also no different. There is a remote possibility that some individuals seek the experience just because of the stigma attached.

The Forbidden Fruit Effect is what's known as this. Humans have always loathed restriction and prohibition and sought after what we shouldn't desire. To put it more kindly, we have always desired freedom and knowledge of the unknown.

Just recall your youth. How incredible did it feel not to be able to engage in activities like consuming beer, attending parties, or kissing ladies (or males)?

6. Trauma from a Past Relationship

Because of how different each of us is, the causes of our sexual cravings are also not always clear-cut.

Other reasons for the need may also be present, notwithstanding the credibility of the explanations offered by reproductive strategy, taboo turn-on, formative events, or brain chemistry.

One that is quite dark is caused by a disease known as relationship PTSD. Your sexual preferences may depend on the connections you have with other people.

For instance, if a person had physical abuse in a past relationship, they could feel extremely at ease in a BDSM relationship as the submissive subject moves ahead. On the other hand, it may have the reverse effect and make the individual more powerful in the bedroom. In any case, they could feel at ease being a bit harsh due to prior abuse experiences.

7. To Process A Past Trauma

Due to trauma as children, some other individuals need BDSM. For instance, a person who experienced abuse as a child may feel aroused by flogging or spanking.

To take things a step further, this guy may choose to employ BDSM as a trauma play to assist him in processing his prior traumas. And let's take a minute to stop here since this is far more complex than I had first imagined.

People revisit their prior trauma to process it during these sexual plays. They use BDSM to bring back their horrifying, painful, and long-forgotten experiences.

Numerous studies have shown that there are situations in which individuals may remember their interactions with framing therapeutic or healing BDSM scenarios.

Bonus: Mental Disorder

We've spoken about the kink of willing adults up to this point.

However, BDSM also has a negative side. Those with severe and dangerous mental problems may find the community a welcoming environment.

I neglected to explain that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM-5, the holy book of psychiatry, did not recognize BDSM as a mental disease until 2013.

Unfortunately, the explanation is that masochists and sexual sadists both yearn for BDSM encounters. But unlike other BDSM practitioners, they may not be concerned with mundane concepts like comfort or consent.

Conclusion

The order of the reasons is not random. I wanted to draw attention to how varied the causes of our appetites are. While some of us had a positive first encounter with BDSM around adolescence, others may have been subjected to abuse or struggled with a mental illness.

As long as the partners treat each other fairly and freely discuss their dreams, everything will be OK.