One of the most controversial topics in the BDSM world is the concept of consensual non-consent, more often known as CNC. There is a great trust between the two people in this connection, not abuse. It is still considered taboo to like rape play, even though it is a prevalent form of kink. What does "consensual non-consent" really mean? Also, is it still necessary to have a contract or agreement in place? Let's take a deeper dive into CNC.
Consensual Non-Consent vs. Rape Fantasy
All of the information regarding CNC can't be given to you until we understand how it differs from rape play. In contrast, to rape fantasy or pretend rape, which describes the sexual act solely, consensual non-consent may apply to everything in a D/s relationship.
Many "vanilla" people use the terms interchangeably and have rape play as a fantasy. It doesn't matter what you call it, so long as it's safe, practical, and agreed upon before going forward.
1. Consensual Non-Consent Meaning in BDSM
If both sides consent that the sub has renounced all consent, then is what is meant by consensual non-consent. In most cases, full permission is granted in advance with the knowledge that this is a long-term relationship.
The bottom line is that the sub has explicitly stated their desire for this. Non-consensual indicates that the Dom may have to force the sub to comply if they refuse to do as instructed.
To say "no" after you've given your absolute obedience is entirely ridiculous, particularly for a subordinate or a slave. Because subordinates and slaves aren't machines. They are human, and as such, they have emotions, desires, wants, and flaws. However much they may disapprove of or criticize the Dom, they nevertheless want to do his bidding.
“I like it even when I don’t like it. I want it even when I don’t want it.”
2. Trust is important
Safewords are recommended for consensual non-consent because they foster a sense of trust. Everything is made very obvious with Safewords. During a complex scenario, a Dom should always remind a sub that they have safewords.
Most of the time, we think of trust in the sub believing in the Dom, but the Dom must also be able to put their faith in their sub. Whatever the nature of the relationship—whether it's D/s or BDSM—"no" always means no in the eyes of the law. Even if the sub is screaming and sobbing for things to stop, the Dom has to know that the sub is entirely willing.
Safewords may be removed from your contract or agreement if you are in a 24/7 connection, such as during penalties.
Non-consensual couples, for example, may not permit the use of safewords because they believe it gives the submissive too much power. A D/s relationship in the form of a TPE is an example.
3. How aftercare should be?
Consensual non-consent might change a sub's behavior after a play session.
After consensual non-consent, it's tough for me to accept love; thus, some Doms will give their partner space and only place a hand on their shoulders. It's not unusual for a sub to get enraged as if they had been harmed.
This is because the two are intertwined. Negative emotional associations develop when a sub's body is harmed unpleasantly.
Sub drop allows them to gradually regain a sense of security and control over their environment. For the Dom to appreciate this and not be insulted, it is necessary to continue to give post-care.
4. Rape play vs. CNCRape play and consensual non-consent are not the same, yet many BDSM players use the phrases interchangeably. A CNC kink isn't just about rape play. You may still have such a desire even if you're in a stale relationship.
Acting it out, on the other hand, may be very therapeutic for survivors of prior abuse. CNC might have a greater significance for them. Replaying the event with the knowledge that they can now cease it may be therapeutic.
You should explicitly define the boundaries of your rape play if you're going to do it with someone else. Anal rape, for example, may be permissible, while vaginal rape is not.
5. Ideas for D/s sex and moreConsensual non-consent may take various forms, both sexual and non-sexual. For those in BDSM relationships, or even those who just play occasionally:
- The Dom may dress up as an actual attacker (if they wear a mask, make sure at least half of the face is visible so the sub realizes it's not a real attacker)
- Gagging the sub may be accomplished by tying the sub up with rope.
- Punish the subordinate in ways that he or she will not like.
- Put the sub through his or her paces by engaging in painful play.
Why do people fantasize about forced sex?
According to Psychology Today, "the dream of submission expresses a wish to escape from the weight of self, from the job of responsibility and control of your own life."
I understand why some individuals are embarrassed to admit to having these dreams, but I don't think they should be immediately labeled as "bad." The mere existence of our fantasies says nothing about our psychological well-being or actual sexual proclivities. Forced sex fantasies (consensual non-consent fantasies) are more prevalent than you realize.
However, this does not imply that pursuing these kinds of dreams is a walk in the park. This "taboo" tactic may now be explored without fear.
Is CNC Roleplay Unethical?
- Many individuals oppose CNC. Consensual non-consent has been criticized for many reasons.
- It triggers actual traumas, such as sexual assault.
- Overstepping boundaries and causing actual harm is just too simple.
- Submissives can't end CNC partnerships.
- The perpetrator might face substantial legal repercussions if one partner is hurt while the other engages in consensual non-consent.
Consensual non-consent may be dangerous, as all of these criticisms point out. BDSM may be hazardous, which is why some adhere to the Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) paradigm.
You should never enter a situation unless you know the potential dangers. Using safe phrases and other safety measures, such as the ones we mention before we go into any CNC examples, demonstrates that you are aware of your surroundings and your surroundings. A few things fit under the banner of edge play: needles, suspensions, and knife games. Playing with your partner's edge while they are on the verge of orgasm is another experience.
To begin with, people may use CNC to work with the effects of traumatic experiences. Second, this is a sort of play, not a true production of the play. Finally, those who oppose this kink because of the potential for trauma forget two critical considerations.
The Risks of CNC
Consensual non-consent has serious hazards, including cuts, abrasions, chafing, bruising, burns, dehydration, tiredness, and even shattered bones since it may become much more severe than rough sex.
Both parties may be affected by these wounds, particularly if there is a physical struggle. Additionally, personal health issues are crucial. Blood pressure or sugar levels might cause the scenario to change and give you quite the shock.
The dangers of CNC, however, go well beyond health issues. The safety or trust of a person might be in danger. After a CNC scene, you could see your spouse differently, even if it was your decision. Intense situations may also trigger traumatic memories.
These pursuits may result in anxiety or panic attacks. Because you can freeze or forget your safe word, having a reliable companion is crucial.
And if you were the one who destroyed someone else, you could feel guilty about what you might have done to a loved one.
It should be no surprise that communication is the best method to reduce these hazards. Your first CNC scenario should be meticulously planned out and executed without deviation. Imagine it like writing a screenplay for a movie before acting it out.
You won't need to figure out every little thing as your CNC skills improve. However, by performing it the first time, you have a chance to be ready in case your mind or body reacts unexpectedly.